Sunday, May 3, 2015

It isn't "Tomorrow" anymore..

We survived yesterday. I was a big girl and didn't call in sick on life..
 The services for Jason were beautiful. He was loved by so many people. His parents did an amazing job. Everyone who spoke, spoke of him for who he really was.
 Rosalie did a beautiful job with her musical number and Eric (Jason's best friend) gave the best Eulogy ever.
 Riley needed to share about his Daddy and for a scared, sad 6 year old little boy.. He did a great job. He told everyone that he knows they will all miss Jason and it's ok to be sad but it's also ok to be happy, just be you and that Jason will always be in our hearts.
 Riley was sad and happy at the same time. He had cousins he had never met and some he knew very well to run around and play with.
 We left around 2:00 and Riley spent most of his day very down, sad and quiet. I felt like he kept looking for excuses to be sad. When we got home I asked, "Bud, do you just need to cry?" and he said, "No.." and I said, "are you sure? because you look like you just need to cry.. and if you need to cry, let it out!".. my baby broke down. He sobbed and cried and just repeated over and over, "I want my daddy back, I want my daddy back.." I just held him and let him cry.
 We were supposed to go see the Avenger movie as a family but by the time I got home my head was pounding from crying and I felt like I had no steam left in me. Sean, being the amazing man he is.. took Riley and Cooper to see the movie, while the girls and I stayed home and then got ready to go to friends houses.
 With it being such a heavy, sad day.. we all just needed a break. Riley went to his Nana's for the night per his request, Aubrey to her friend Taylor's and Madness to her friend Alexis's house.
 By the end of the night, Sean and I had ended up at our friend Matt's house (ugh.. that guys is such a lame).. and we laughed for a good part of the night.. genuinely, laughed, had a good time and we didn't talk about funerals or sad children.. we got to be us and happy.
 Today my heart is at peace, I woke up knowing tomorrow is behind us and we can begin to move forward. I know it won't be easy but we can do it because we are strong and a family full of love for one another.
  Thank you to Sherry (Taylor's mom) for taking Aubrey and showing her a good time, Thank you to Joie and Trevor (Alexis's mommy and daddy) for taking Madison and making sure her night ended with laughs and a good time and Thank you to Matt, Mary Beth, Colin, Gabby, Theresa, Matt and all the other people that I promised I would forget their names for showing us a good time last night.
 I am going to end this blog here because our AMAZING neighbors have made breakfast for Cooper, myself and Charlie (yes.. even the dog) and we must now shuffle over there in our jammies.
 Happy Sunday, everyone. <3

No comments:

Post a Comment