Today, my boys were trying. They were testy, bratty and down right mean to each other.. but they were boys and they were mine.
All of my kids make me thankful, every day to be a Mom.. but my boys are what MADE me a mom. Growing a child in you for nearly 10 months.. and whatever method of birth you choose or are forced into.. MAKES you a mom. I am lucky enough to be Mommy to two incredible boys and "Kristi" or "Mom" to two beautiful girls.. depending on what they want from me. Lol.
Today, I miss my own Mom. It has been 7 years since she passed and I would give anything to be able to talk to her.
I was able to celebrate with my aunt DeeDee and cousins this evening which was amazing, fun and much needed. Nothing fills the void of a parent though.. and thats my biggest fear for Riley.
Sitting at that dinner table tonight, or celebrating with Shondra, Kalyn and Ann today doesn't fill the void of my own Mommy and sometimes, makes me miss her that much more. She wasn't a perfect mom.. or even a good one but if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here. That makes me miss her.
I am grateful to both Jason and Sean, for giving me the ability and opportunity to be a Mom. Seven years ago, when I grew Riley into the perfect little boy that he is.. This is not at all what I planned his life to be. I did not expect to be divorced, or re married or to have the opportunity to mother a child from another man or children who are not biologically mine.. but here we are.
I love this life and everything it entails.
I love Riley because he is sweet, kind hearted and handsome. He is the perfect blend of myself and Jason while being well mannered and loving. He is strong, hard headed and stubborn but also kind, loving and gentle. He has my eyes and chin.. but everything else from his dad. I am loving every minute of him growing and am looking forward to his future.
I love Cooper because of his independence and charm. He is sweet and adorable.. and without calling me fat, reminds me daily that I have chubby cheeks. He loves his brother and I think part of him is lost when Riley isn't here.. He is funny and sweet and will always be "the baby"..
I love my Aubrey Girl.. for so many reasons. I swear.. she may be biologically mine! We have so much in common. She is artistic and witty, she is funny and romantic. She is beautiful inside and out and I am so blessed to have her as a BONUS child. Never a step but an addition to my life.
Madison, OHHH my madness. Because I list her last does not mean I love her less. She definitely gives me a run for my money. She is beautiful and funny, she is smarter then she gives herself credit for and she is so loving. She is so much like her mother but that is a good thing!
Because of these four, I am a Mom. Everyday, I do my best and give my all so that they can have more and be more. Everyday, I complain and talk trash but I love them, endlessly. I love them without stipulations and expectations.. I love them because they complete me. I love them because every day is mothers day.. which, if you are a mom, you know that a "Mothers day" doesn't exist. Everyday is about my children and every day will continue to be about my children because they are what matters most.
Happy Mothers Day to all the Mommies out there. Mine in heaven, my Mommy DeeDee here with me, My other Baby Momma Jeanette and ALLLLLLL of my mommy friends! I hope today was fabulous, regardless of how you celebrated. <