Thursday, January 24, 2013

A Journey to be had..

 So, here we are. Accepted into the surrogacy program and next week is when our Journey will be on its way! We have shared with everyone and though the news has been well received, I get a lot of this: "YOU'RE CRAZY!", "WHY?!", "WHAT DO YOUR KIDS THINK?" and my favorite, "you WANT to be pregnant again?".. Well, here is my response to all of those (and more!).
1. Though I am sure with some serious study I could possibly be diagnosed as "crazy", that has not been done yet. So, No, I am not crazy;p  I am excited and passionate about this journey and very much looking forward to what 2013 holds for us.
2. I have been passionate about this cause since a year after Riley's birth. It took me a long time to conceive Riley (by my own selfish standards) and the thought of not having kids weighed heavy on my heart during that time. It was about a year after Riley's birth that I started looking into egg donation and surrogacy. I realized early on that I would not be as comfortable with a "1/2 me" walking around and not knowing them.. so I quickly ruled out egg donation. About a month before Cooper's one year birthday, the thought came to me again and I started doing my research into gestational surrogacy.
3. My kids, believe it or not are.. excited! At first they had questions like, "so, we are giving away a brother or sister?" and "how is the baby not related to us if you're going to be pregnant?".. but with the explanation of science (woohoo! because I am SOO not ready for the "sex" talk.) we were able to make them understand the process. The way our 9 year old put it was, "This is kind of like when we give our clothes, shoes and toys to people who don't have as much as we do.." She was right in a lot of ways, we are blessing someone else with the "riches" of a child. I liked that she saw it this way because it really instilled that we ARE helping someone else.  Our 7 year old asked, "Ok, cool. So when you get "big and fat" can we paint your stomach like we did when you were pregnant with Cooper?" and Riley's only request was, "Please don't send me to live in a new home?!".. as you can see my younger kids didn't take to much of an interest but enough to semi understand. LOL, so, with promise that they will be kept up to date and in the loop, they are just as excited about this journey as we are.
4. Those of you who have seen me through my pregnancies, know that they aren't so bad. The thought of one more pregnancy does not scare me.. would I want to do it again for myself? Not at all. LOL, as much as I love ALL of my children, four is plenty. Knowing that I will get to help someone else have what I have makes being pregnant one last time completely worth it. (Yes, this will more then likely be a "one time thing".)
 The best part about this journey though, is that I have SO much support. It starts here at home. Just like so many of you guys, my husband as first thought I was crazy. He knew I had looked into it prior to "us" but I know he didn't give it as much thought as I have. When I approached him about it, we were at lunch and he looked at me like, "HUH?".. Obviously the more we talked and weighed the pro's and con's.. he began to see what I saw. We discussed the kids and how we thought they would handle it, my job and could I really work through another pregnancy? (To my clients who are following me, you are in luck because I do not plan to quit my job ANY time soon.) and could I physically "do" another pregnancy? After all of this my husband looked at me, laughed and said, "why not?".. I love this man. He supports all of my "crazy"!
 ALMOST all of my clients, co-workers and friends are also in support. This means so much to me because I DO spend SOO much time with you guys. (Rae, I promise, LAST pregnancy!) You guys have all seen me through so much as it is, I can't thank you enough for encouraging me to do this to.
 .. and last, my family! I know you guys all tell me you are so proud of me all the time.. and that this journey is no exception to what you already know and how you see me. Please know that I love you guys so much and that I appreciate all the help you guys offer with and for my kids. I am so incredibly blessed to have each and every one of you and I know you guys will be awesome through this.
 Which brings me to my closing.. I am not doing this for recognition or praise. (I hope ALL of you know that.) I am doing this because I love my kids so very much, I can not begin to describe how much the have changed the way I see life, love and the value of every day. To be able to share that gift with someone else makes my heart smile. I smile everyday because of my children, I laugh everyday because of my children and I live every moment FOR my children.  <3