Monday, October 19, 2015

I'm Opening the Floor for Public Opinion...

I have had some things on my mind and it has more been a discussion I have had a few times at work lately then here at home but somehow this topic/subject/situation keeps getting put infront of me.. and maybe, just maybe, it is so I will face it and move on. Who knows?
 So, I am coming here, to my blog spot.. to pose a few questions to my friends and family.. to make sure that I am not some super species of ass hole.. and confirm to myself that I am normal by relative terms.
 I have never had a lot of "friends" but I have always allowed "friendly" people to co-exist within my world. I have been content to live my entire life this way. I was not popular in school but I wasn't exactly a "loser" either. I have always lived my life as an open book. If you have been a client in my chair more then once, you know way more about me then friends you have had for 20 plus years, if you have managed to become a friendly staple in or around my world, you know you can ask me just about anything and vice versa.. I mean, even my instagram friends know when (every two weeks, mostly) and who (Nicole Vasquez at Cooper and Stropp) I get my nails done by. I like to share "myself" with others and sometimes, my life resembles something of a comedic sit com that others can laugh at. (Which I am ok with.)
 So, here is my current situation and question. I am content to not let people migrate to deep into my life (like, here at home.) I am ok with not having a slew of "best friends" or even "friends".. when I hang pictures in my home they are of my family.. as in, my kids and husband.. because I enjoy looking at their faces, everyday. Also, I am lazy and when we, as friends, break up.. I don't want to have to dedicate the day to removing you from my picture frames. I am also "ok" with cutting you off in a new york minute if you do not live up to my "standard", regardless of friend or family.. If you wrong me, I'm done. Mostly, because I feel like if I have made the effort to let you that deep in, my judge of character is compromised when you have failed to be the best you can be (for me) and that hurts a little. It also makes me question my judgment and I don't like to think to hard about my own self for to long.
 Here is the question part.. Is anyone else like this? Do any of my "friends" or "friendlies" set people up to fail? Do you set un-realistic expectations for others and then walk away when they can't maintain that level? Is anyone else I know content to live friend free and quiet or am I just an ass hole? I am being serious.. I want to know.
 I'm sure I can blame a large part of this lifestyle on my upbringing.. not having a choice in who was in or out of my life, yada yada.. Or maybe, some other people are like this to and its some form of normal?
 I pretty much implement this structure in every part of my life, including my work one too. It's rare that I get upset about a client leaving me for another stylist (I said rare, sometimes it happens..) or when a client moves away.. (mostly, this is more upsetting to me..) but as a whole, I move on and recompose fairly quickly from these failed relationships to..
 It isn't often I stop and ask myself if it's possible I did something wrong.. I try to be self aware in most of those situations and I try to understand that people probably are sick of me, need a change or for various reasons, leave and go else where.. which, is ok. Sometimes, when I have gained a sense of "friendliness" or "friendship" in my clients and I have heard or seen that they have gone somewhere else, it stings a little but mostly, I move on, quietly and quickly.
 So, for real's.. are there other people in my little world like me? Or am I far more selfish then I give myself credit for? Cause, this topic and situation has been presented to me several times in the last few weeks and to be honest, has me feeling a little insecure with how I am living my life. /:

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